After having my fiance leave (completely out of the blue, I might add, as well as owing me thousands of dollars), I for sure spent two months in my room crying, begging, and waiting for him to wake up and see my worth. I then dove head first into two months of dating a fantastic man who fell on my lap just in the knick of time. He is a man who saw my worth more clearly than I; a man who treated me like an absolute goddess; a man who is the epitome of who you take home to mom and dad; a man whom I love to pieces as a person, yet a man who I just didn't fall in love with. I have now spent two weeks (and three days) so fantastically and depressingly single... that I have the wine bottles, cab bills, mascara-stained pillows, and mystery texts to prove it.
I'm not sure I've ever been so bipolar in my life: free yet trapped, full of both laughter and tears, confident yet having to face Michael's rejection, and thankful to be surrounded by the strongest women in the world... yet completely annoyed at all of them for pushing me not to settle and to be equally as strong.
I've been amazed by what I'm capable of surviving, and how much it's changed me, yet how much I'm still me. The core of Maggie cannot be tainted or taken away by what life throws my way (or rather, as normally the case, I jump into). I have been told recently by close and distant people that I have a spirit for life that seperates me from everyone else. I cannot tell you how this knowledge, and the fact that maybe I do have something to offer the world (and maybe even one day a soulmate), has carried me through the days and nights that I start to lose faith in why this is all happening to me. “Why me!?”.... But now that question has changed to “Why not me!?” As my articulate and darkly hilarious friends have now grown to say, "...this situation could be much worse. You could be going through it... while living in Haiti.”
These are the women I surround myself by, the women who I have laughed with, been on double dates with, spent nights watching “Sex in the City” with, cried with, yelled at, and of course... my personal Maggie touch to all close relationships... written CRAZY passive aggressive emails to before thinking twice about what I'm actually saying to them. Luckily, they're all just the type, to laugh and say, “Ohhhh Maggie.”
What these women have given me is something no man has ever, or will ever, teach me... because maybe, I've already been “saved” by the women in my life. I searched my Seattle over for a man that would bring me all of this, and thank god I didn't find one. I'm much better off today than I've been in the last seven years, even counting the hormonal and blissful minutes of my relationships. I am living for me, everyday, and I'm still close to the key six women in my life. I honestly, and I'm not kidding, never knew you could live for YOU and still be fantasticly tied to someone else... and now I have six of them.